Had a dream last night about the awkward lap dance Paul (nightplayer) & I received last time I was in Cali.

I'm all a'buzz after getting stuck in the storm shelter for 45 minutes while the funnels touched down nearby. Of course, they wouldn't "let" me outside. The clouds weren't close enough to get pictures of anyway. There'll always be next time (which could be later tonight!).

Hope you guys had a great St. Patrick's Day!

Timothy & Austin, you both were correct... I was Rainbow Brite for Halloween.

It's true. I resurrected sabotaged.net.

A day full of rain and a night of clear skies brought us into the high 20s last night. The pups got to sleep in the garage on a stack of blankets. The thermostat in my hallway was flipped to "heat".

The choke was pulled way out when I started the bike this morning. It wanted to fight me a bit, but turned over after a second try and squeeled with high RMPs while warming up. I suppose its time for me to change my oil. It has just about 10,000 miles on it since it was last dumped and refreshed. I know the bike doesn't want to run with that thick cold stuff hugging the bottom of the engine.

I was as warm as I could be with long johns under my jeans, a neoprene high-neck shirt and a sweatshirt under my leather jacket. My eyes watered as I putzed through my one horse town with my visor open. The Carbondale State Bank's lighted sign said it was 31 degrees.

This windchill calculator shows that if the temperature is 31 and the winds are blowing at 90mph (well, that was the speed I was moving once on the highway ... I figure the air is still moving past me as though its blowing and I'm standing still), then it feels like 8.8 degrees (F) or -12.9 (C). My fingertips will agree with that assesment.

It's a straight shot from my home to my work. If I tuck down in enough, I can nearly fit my entire helmet behind my windscreen, also known as The Plastic Savior From The Cold. In this position, I can keep the wind from sucking up into my helmet, freezing my lips, my ears, and my snot. I shimmy my left hand down into my bike, between the fairing and the frame, right next to one of the radiators. My right hand just has to take it. My Icon gloves leave little to no protection from the cold - but at least they're flashy.

As I get into town, I start furiously moving my hands. After riding those 16 miles, my fingers refuse to respond in a timely fashion. They take their sweet time and I'm worried about having to let go of the throttle and using the clutch. While barreling down the exit ramp, I slide my right hand off of the clip-on entirely, tuck it behind my right knee and pull the clutch in and out while dropping gears. Once in the turn lane, I am stuck behind a fleet of cars at a red light. Hop off the bike, and stand behind it, each hand behind it's very own exhaust pipe. I wait as long as possible, letting those bad boys warm up. Light turns green, hop back on the bike, and make a mad dash toward my office. The ass-end did what it could to squirrel around in the black ice in the middle of the intersection. Hold on and slide it 'til it grips. Run the rest of the surface streets quickly. Scream into the parking lot. Barely get the kick stand down. Rush into the building without getting my helmet or gloves off.

This is the painful part. Luckily, the bathroom is right next to the entrance. I bust into there and flip on the hot water. Slowly, my hands come out of my gloves. My skin is bright red, my nails are purple, and I mostly just want to cry. Hesitantly, I put my hands into the water as its gradulaly warming up. My eyes close tight, and I can feel my mouth opening in some sort of a silent scream. God it hurts.

I believe I stood like that for about 4-5 minutes only moving to adjust the temperature in hopes of not going to the other extreme - scalding my hands.

Once my body temperature is back on the rise, I peel off my layers, throw on my business casual gear, and lug my stuff to my desk. Everyone in my office thinks I'm a nut job. Not necessarily just because of this, but also because of the many times I've ridden in the rain, the hail, and when we've had tornado warnings. But, what they don't understand is that once my bike is garaged for the winter, I will be dismanteling it (again) for upgrades, more repairs, and a new paint job (yes, another one). That'll be about three months without it, unless I haphazardly throw it together for a night o' fun toward the end of the year. They don't understand that it is the starting point for my slippery slope into a freezing cold depression caused by a winter full of ice, snow, and a lack of my favorite things. With that, I'll ride 'til I can't take it anymore.

DHL's tracking device shows that my Halloween costume was delivered to my house this afternoon. I'm growing more and more antsy waiting for the work day to end so that I may try it on.

If I anyone can correctly guess what my costume is, I will post pictures of me in it early. (Phil is barred from participating.)

At any length, I am very excited to actually dress up this year. My sister-in-law is going to be Dorothy and already has her costume in. Her, our cousin-in-law, the guys, and myself will be hitting the bars the 28th. With any luck the three of us ladies will be entering and winning costume contests.

Sunday a group of 20+ went out and ran a poker run (just for fun - no deaths or charities involved). We spent about 2.5 hours running around Highway 40 and Lake Perry, ending it at a buddy's house for an afternoon BBQ. Despite my efforts to wish myself awesome cards - I ended up with three sixes, which did not win the pot.

Phil has gone stir crazy buying cameras and fabricating camera mounts. These days, he almost perpetually runs a camera facing forward and backward on his bike. Yesterday he ran both cameras and got some good footage.

Sunday night we put together a teaser video for the end-of-the-year DVD he'll be putting together. I came up with the idea, Phil did the tedious work to put it together.

10mb video in *.wmv format. I'm in there quite a few times (which was Phil's doing, not mine). You'll want your speakers on. It's safe for work.

All linked up.

The shoes have been sold.


Thanks for the fetish suggestion. ;D

It's been quite some time since I've read this. But, it remains my absolute favorite piece of motorcycle-related writing.

Should you ever question why I ride a motorbike, please refer to the following.

( Song of the Sausage Creature by Hunter S. Thompson )

Several mornings ago, Phil's face turned stone-cold and he asked me, "Do you spell your last name with an 'le' or an 'el'?"

My head whipped around and with the lazers lodged in my eyes, I wrote "NOBLE" on his forehead.



The upside was that it made me feel MUCH better about his Grandmother not remembering my name.

The following is in the tradition of taking my time to post a lot of nothing, coupled with my complete disinterest in work.


There's this whole My Hertigage Celebrity Wanna-Look-A-Like Extravaganza going around. After seeing it time and time again on my friends list, I've succumb to my weakness and gave it a shot.

With this picture, I am told that I resemble the following celebrities:
- Maria Callas
- Jessica Alba
- Sammi Cheng
- Lana Turner
- Bipasha Basu
- Rose McGowan
- Benita Ferrero-Waldner
- Shannon Elizabeth
- Woranuch Wongsawan
- Victora Principal

With this picture, I'm told I look similar to the following:
- Kim Novak
- Heather Locklear
- Greta Garbo
- Consuelo Velazquez
- Lucille Ball
- Kathleen Turner
- Courteney Cox
- Becky Griffin
- Arthur Koestler
- Lana Turner

I tried a few other pictures, but received far less impressive results than the above. There are three notes I can make. The first is that Lana Turner crept up in every list. I would like to conclude that I clearly resemble her the most, simply based on frequency. The second: I'm halfway surprised at how many nude/topless photos I was able to find of each celebrity. And the third: None of the responses had a forehead a large as my own.

This is the first time in a while that I can honestly say I'm looking forward to spending the day with family. Not my blood-relatives, but family none-the-less.

While I wish it were all sunshine and roses, my ass is still a bit chapped over the fact that Phil's grandmother still doesn't know my name. Hopefully, tomorrow she'll be able to introduce me to people without stumbling and stuttering until someone whispers, "Ssssssiiiiiidddd...."

In regards to work: I figure that I spend far more time with my co-workers and higher-ups than I do with my own family. Because of this, it's worth it to me to make my interactions with my fellow employees as enjoyable and engaging as possible. I want my work place to run well on the friendship side of things.

But, as we all know, there's going to be ONE person at every job that makes that difficult. For me, it's the woman on the other side of my cubical wall, the one that is physically closer to me than any other person in my life.

She's a lonely woman who is blindly controlled by her asshole husband (who comes in here all the time, doesn't let her have any of the money she makes at this job, only allows her certain amounts of food daily, etc.). I do what I can to get along with her, but I'll be damned if she isn't an odd bird.

Her oddities (they're not just cute like "quirks") aside, she is the most nosey and inconsiderate person I've ever worked with. Every single phone conversation that I have, whether personal or professional, she feels the need to chime in both during and after the call. If I call someone to inform them of some changes in insurance information, she'll try to tell me who I should have called, when I should have called them, what additional information I may have given them, and then she'll make some off-hand comment about me being "too candid" on the phone.

If I dare to make a personal call (which I do at least once a day, as do all of my coworkers and the administration - it's a small office and everyone is very lax about it), she will start talking to me about my personal life. Not just making small talk like asking how Phil and Zoe are doing, or how my vacation was. She'll turn a small verbal disagreement into reasoning for why I should move away. Or, she'll start using a traffic citation of mine as clear and definite reasoning for how motorcyclists get killed all the time. She's even made remarks about how I shouldn't be around Phil's daughter!!

This happens all day, every day. I can't make a phone call without having her give me her opinion on how I should do my job and how I should live my life outside of these bland walls. Even my other coworkers (whom I get along with very well), know that they can't come chat with me in my cube. They will swing in, drop a note, and take off. Sometimes they whisper something, but within five seconds, my nosey coworker will shift into my cube to flat out ask us what we're whispering about.

Every time it happens, I do everything I can from whipping around and asking, "WHO ARE YOU???" I'm not big on etiquette at all, but I can't figure out how she has made it into her fifth decade of life without someone clocking her in the jaw.

My bike clicked over 15,000 miles last night.

12,690 miles on my bike as of right now. In a few minutes, after I finish packing the last couple things into my bike, I'll be heading down for Austin.

Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend, y'all!

I suppose it doesn't take much to get me wound up about something. I've been jittery with a knotted up belly for a few days now. I'm getting antsier and antsier about my trip this Thursday.

The past couple of days have been spent writing up lists of things I need (need to buy, need to pack, need to do), going over the bike (tightening the chain, checking the tires, checking the oil, re-wiring systems), and wringing my hands. The bike should be fine now that it cools itself. The tires and chain will run me the round trip (though, I will need a new rear and a new chain when I return). Gas money has me a bit on the edge. I get paid Thursday and should be out of money by Monday night if all goes according to plan.

Some of it is that Phil's nervousness has rubbed off on me. I don't think he really believed I was going to actually go on this trip. I think he assumed it was just me daydreaming. Despite him expressing a want to ride either in Texas or Colorado this year, he chose not to go. I think that's mostly what is wearing him thin - he will want to be there to help me in the event that something goes wrong (bike breaks down, I crash, I run into trouble with the angry Texans, etc.).

With any luck, I'll come home with both the bike and I in one piece and it'll ease any reservations he has about me and my (in)abilities in the future.

And the rest of it is just my natural tendancy to get worked up about things. If something comes along that I'm super excited about, it ends up being the only thing I think about for weeks in advance. This time, I'm trying to make my nervous energy as productive as possible by preparing things. Hopefully, covering my ass will prove to be worth while. With the circumstances, I'm trying to steer away from my former fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants attitude.

So far the plan is looking like:

- Play around with Moira (and hopefully a couple of other ladies) in Austin on the bikes.
- Stay at my Aunt's lake house just north of San Antonio. Play on the jet skis and enjoy the time with my Aunt & her children.
- Surprise my Grandmother and Great Grandmother. Clean up both of their houses as much as possible and hug them so tightly that I may injur them. Spend time with my Grandfather on his front porch at dusk, when he's most relaxed.
- Just riiiiiiiiiiide.

My vacation plans have come together all in the past hour or so.

My boss just gave me an hour off next Monday morning, so that I can actually get my bike legal before I cross state lines in it. (I was pulled over Tuesday by a Highway Patrol officer. The bike should have been towed and I should have been given a monster ticket. However, I walked away with merely a warning. It's nice to know I've still have it.) With any luck, the paperwork and what not for making it legal will be handled swiftly.

After about a month of one-way phone calls, I've finally gotten ahold of my Aunt in San Antonio. She gave me a mix of good news and bad news, but our half hour long conversation was mostly full of laughs and knowing nods (which DO work on the phone). She'll be letting my buddy and I stay in her lake cabin for the night or so that we're in San Ant.

Additionally, a girlfriend is offering up her spare bedrooms to us for the night or so we're in Austin. I expect a lot of laughs with her. And, on top of that, she's taking Friday off of work so we can go play on the bikes together. My only worry is that she's going to not take kindly to the guy that's coming along with me. We'll see how that goes, I guess.

Most importantly: I spoke to my Grandfather. I haven't talked to him since last fall, when I went to Minnesota for my cousin's wedding. It's not odd that we go for so long without speaking. He focuses on his homelife and not much else. I can't argue with his priorities.

He will be opening his doors to us if we choose to stay with him. Plus, he agreed to keep my trip a secret to both my Grandmother & Great Grandma. I'm hoping to make them both cry like I did for Thanksgiving of '04.

PLUS, at some point, I might meet mindygray along the way. If she asks real perty, she might even get a ride on one of the motorbikes. There isn't much hotter than two chicks on one bike. ;D

So, all in all, I will have places to sleep and shower without worrying about paying for hotel rooms. I will get to see all of the family I plan on seeing. And I'm just like: WEEEEEEEEE!!